Kelsey...SO Much More Than A Dog.....

The Glade House is a very sad place today as we had to put our Kelsey to sleep last night. She came into the world 16 years ago on President's Day and so began our adventure together. I met Kelsey when she was just 3 days old and actually picked her sister out because she had better markings and Kelsey was the runt of the litter....but when I went to pick the sister up when she was weaned...she was actually very shy...and I'll never forget Kelsey, so tiny still, come running around the corner like a little tornado tackling her brothers and untying shoelaces. The breeder got onto her while we were there and Kelsey talked back to her and pranced away little tail in the air...so full of sass and spunk. Mike was actually there with me to pick her up and needless to say, right away, we knew she was the one and took her home instead. I look back at how much she's been through with us. She started out with just me, to Mike and I dating, to us getting engaged, to marriage and then kids 1, 2 and 3. When it was just she and I...I was going to college and she was my world. Then she became Mike's and my dog and she was our "child" and went EVERYWHERE with us. She wasn't away from us for more than 2 days until our honeymoon. Then when we had kids and she moved into the "family dog" role instead of the "child" role...she did so with love and grace...and a few temper tantrums (she wouldn't be spunky Kelsey without a few of those at least). She LOVED the kids and they became hers too.
She was loving, loyal, spunky, sassy and SO SMART! Mike used to tease me that I talked to her like she was one of the kids...but the thing is I COULD because she UNDERSTOOD what I was saying. When we put in our backyard, I told her she had to start going to the bathroom in the rocks instead of the grass because she was killing it...and from then on she went to the rocks to go to the bathroom...just like that. Of course, being spunky Kelsey...she had what I called her "bee up her butt" days where she just wanted to get a rise out of me and she'd look right at me and wet in the grass like what are you going to do about this? Of course as soon as she did it, you could see all over her face that maybe that wasn't the best idea and maybe she should have rethought it through before actually carrying it out. :) She knew the names of all her toys, all the rooms in the house and all the doors. If we were going somewhere I would tell her we were going out the garage door and she'd go there and wait for me. She HATED to be brushed and so from a puppy, I could never leave it out because she'd hide it and she'd hide it GOOD and never in the same place twice. SO SMART!
She's been aging and I could see it. She was completely deaf for the past two years. We still communicated though because I'd taught her hand signals when she was a puppy and she'd remembered them. She used to sleep with us, then it got too hard to get on and off our bed so she slept on her own bed on the floor by ours. In the last 4 months, the stairs became hard and so she started sleeping on her bed in the laundry room instead. It's so hard to see them age and not be able to do the things they used to that made them so happy. The last year and especially the past 6 months were really hard on her and we saw her age quickly. Her lower spine and back legs started to give her a lot of pain and were giving out on her. She couldn't play ball which was always her FAVORITE thing to do. She LOVED food and in the last two weeks she lost all interest. Her healthy weight was between 21 and 24 pounds and last night she was down to 14 so she had lost almost half her body weight. Dementia was really setting in and she was starting to forget and just go to the bathroom all over herself, her bed and the house...definitely NOT our prissy Kelsey. We put her on a strong antibiotic in case it was a kidney or bladder infection but it didn't help. Besides to go outside to the bathroom and eat, she literally slept ALL the time.
We have an amazing vet and he asked us some good questions last night. He asked when the last time we saw her truly happy and excited about something.....when was the last time we saw her smile......and when I really thought about it.....I honestly couldn't remember the last time because it had been so long. He said when he looked in her eyes, he didn't see her anymore and it was only going to get harder for her. So we made the excrutiating decision that it was time for her to be at peace and not hurt anymore. The kids came in and told her goodbye and gave her hugs and then went to the lobby while Mike and I stayed with her. Seeing the life go out of her, my logic and my emotions were at polar ends. My mind knew I was doing the right thing for her, my heart was breaking and I felt so sad and guilty.
Grief is it's own entity. Everyone handles it differently. In the beginning, all you can focus on is the last 5 minutes of their life and the 16 wonderful years of experiences you had with them just make you sad and cry. The kids are all handling it in their own way. None of them know life without her but Kyler has been with her the longest and is taking it the hardest. His heart is breaking and he just sobs. Mikaela is sad and cries. Kamden is sad but his young heart and logic is so sweet and innocent. He misses her but he says she's happy and running around with Bama and Jesus and they're both throwing the ball for her so he's not sad and doesn't cry for her or him. And some people don't think kids can teach us things.
Time heals and I know every day will get easier. I know we will start to think of her and all the amazing 16 years we had with her and it will bring a smile instead of tears. But right now...the void in our house, family and hearts is SO big. I do know one thing for sure...she was VERY LOVED and will be VERY MISSED! We will ALWAYS love our sweet baby brown eyed girl!